Quarantined Thoughts

 Quarantined Thoughts

23 April 2021

Iloilo City

Considering my priorities over these past months, I have paused my writing for a while as practicalities of my living situation have taken precedence over my need to express the thoughts that pertain to the pandemic and its many effects on me.  It has caused me to shed tears and feel sad for not seeing my family for more than a year now. Sometimes, I obsess with thoughts of home. However, the commitment to never yield to my weak emotions has prevailed after moments of self-reflection.  

So, as a way to distract myself from the emotions that have allowed me to lie in bed in the mornings for several days at a time, I have taken it upon myself to do the following daily:

1. Switch on some lively music after a few minutes of prayer upon waking up;

2. Stretch with my hands up above my head as if to touch the ceiling;

3. Brew my favorite coffee and drink it with ube cheese pandesal or any sandwich;

4. Clean my room and put everything in place before taking a cold shower;

5. Perform my daily personal regimen before sitting in front of my computer;

6. Check the FB newsfeed for some news from reputable agencies commenting or posting based on my mood or disposition;

7. Check my email for new messages and reply to them as soon as possible;

8. Work on my research paper while I listen to music;

9. Order lunch from a nearby diner and pay for it when it's delivered or cook it when ingredients are at hand;

10. Continue working on other tasks (UPRI, CuReD, or any other project that requires me to attend a meeting);

11. Attend webinar/s if scheduled;

12. Visit the LMS to monitor students' submissions and progress;

13. Go out for a walk at the esplanade to refresh;

14. Prepare dinner after showering;

15. Watch a movie while working on the paper again; and

16. Listen to music while I drift off to sleep. 

This routine has allowed me to forget my solitary circumstance for a while and channel my energy on productive thoughts and activities as I pat myself on the back for being strong and resilient and dodging the virus whenever I have to go on some errands. It may seem easy on some days, and I have found myself dragging my body to finish some tasks on others. 

Anyway, I know what my aunts will say as they have often shared: the women in the family are made of sturdy stuff. We are sweet and gentle but sturdy.  I believe that this has been my own test, and I have to overcome it eventually. I have been prepared for this. 🌷❤️